It's Normal to Be Human. It's Not Your Identity.

Good morning, beautiful.

One of the questions I get asked a lot as a therapist is "Is this normal?" My answer is usually "Yes." I actually love when people ask that question because so many things we experience in life are simply part of being human and not something we need to carry shame about.

What always stands out to me, though, is how often we all ask the same question in different ways. Whether it's about our emotions, relationships, struggles, or life circumstances, most of us are trying to figure out if what we're experiencing is normal and if we're the only ones going through it.

So let me answer that question for you in case you need the reminder today. It's normal to be human. It's normal to have imperfections. It's normal to have insecurities, doubts, fears, and moments where you question yourself.

God isn't concerned about the question, but he does care about the answer we arrive at. What we believe impacts what we feel and do. When those beliefs are rooted in shame, we can start interpreting normal struggles as personal failures. Instead of seeing ourselves through truth, we begin viewing ourselves through a lens that was never meant to define us. That’s why time with God matters. The more we seek Him and His Word, the more clarity we gain about who we are.

Let today's devotional guide you closer to the One who has the full abilty to reveal your true identity.

Sincerely,

Your friend

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A Moment to Reflect

"Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go in to the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai the king's eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised. And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all who saw her. So Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, into his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign. The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti."

Esther 2:15-17 (NKJV)

"Tell me about yourself."

It's a simple question, yet for many of us, it can feel surprisingly difficult to answer. When someone asks it, we're often left pausing, searching for the right words, and wondering what part of ourselves we should share.

Maybe you have found yourself caught in a cycle of defining who you are by what you do or what you've accomplished. The problem is that when our identity is built on those things, it can be difficult to know who we are when those things change.

Esther’s story gives us a clear picture of how to discover who we are beneath all the roles, titles, and expectations.

Esther was a Jew, and she was raised by her cousin Mordecai after losing her parents. There came a time when there was a call for young women to be brought to the palace for the king to choose a new queen. Esther was instructed by her cousin to hide her identity and although she obeyed, God's favor still covered her.

Esther endured a season as she underwent a year-long preparation process¹, as was customary at the time, to get ready to become a bride. Finally, it was her turn to visit the king. I love the part of the scripture that says, "She requested nothing but what Hegai the king's eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised" ( Esther 2:15). This passage alone points to the fact that Esther was a person of wisdom and understanding. She could have been like every other woman and chose to dress herself based on what she considered to be beautiful about her, but she chose to trust in Hegai's opinion who knew the king the best.

One of the greatest lies of the enemy is convincing us that we know what is best for ourselves. He does this by targeting three key areas of our lives: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. He appeals to our desires and convinces us to trust what looks good, feels good, or elevates our sense of self. His message is reinforced everywhere we look and the endless avenues he uses tell us what we should want and who we should be.

Yet Esther's story reveals a different way. Rather than trusting her own understanding or relying solely on what appeared desirable, she submitted herself to a process and trusted the wisdom and guidance placed before her.

Singleness is not about striving to become a better version of yourself. It is about allowing the One who knows you best to transform you. Our lives become less focused on self-gain and more focused on reflecting Christ. Esther wasn't chosen as queen simply to sit beautifully in a palace. Her marriage served a greater purpose in God's plan for His people (read Esther 4). In the same way, the marriage God desires to bless you with has a purpose that extends far beyond a wedding day or an Instagram post.

Esther's story showcases the quiet way in which God is always at work, even when His hand is not immediately visible. His favor was guiding her long before she saw the outcome, reminding us that it is God who opens doors that no one can shut.

Whispers Between You and God

If you are in a waiting season, don’t overlook what God is doing in you. He is not delaying you without purpose. He is shaping you for alignment. And when the time is right, what you’ve been waiting for will happen!

Take a moment today and read Proverbs 3:3-4 and Journal:

• How are you living out this scripture in your life?

• What is God asking you to let go of so He can fill you with more of His presence?

This space is a safe place for reflection. If you feel led, share what God placed on your heart below.

References

1. Guzik, David. "Esther 2 – Esther Is Chosen Queen." Enduring Word, enduringword.com/bible-commentary/esther-2/. Accessed 4 Apr. 2025.

To the one waiting on God....

For more guidance on aligning your heart with God in your season of singleness, my book, Good Morning, Beautiful, is a devotional study that guides you in discovering how Jesus, the true standard of love, meets you, prioritizes you, and shapes your identity right where you are.

Learn More