When God Says Yes to Teach You No

Good morning, beautiful.

"But I Thought He Was the One..." 

Each time I entered a new relationship, I was convinced: "This is my husband." And when it didn't work out, I felt defeated. Many nights, I would find myself with tear-stained pillows, questioning everything and becoming frustrated, not just towards myself but also with God.

Looking back now, I realize something hard but healing: much of my heartbreak didn't come from the loss of the person; it was grief that came from the story I chose to believe.

I learned the powerful influence of my thoughts. Our thoughts have a strong influence on our emotions and actions. This concept isn’t just psychology; it finds its roots in biblical teachings. When we hold a belief as true, our brains and surroundings begin to seek out “evidence” to support it, even if that evidence is weak or misleading.¹ This explains why the Bible stresses the importance of taking every thought captive (as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 10:5).

If only I had known what I know now, it would have prevented a series of heartbreaks. However, the grace in all of it was that God allowed me to experience what I believed I wanted, and it wasn’t meant to punish me but to teach me the concept of “no.” That’s the kind of grace we don’t deserve but deeply need. His “yes” revealed my idols, and his mercy and grace protected me from remaining in what I had settled for.

Today I invite you to go deeper into God and let's understand His heart to better discern what God wants to invite into your life.

Sincerely

Your Friend

A Moment to Reflect

"They told him, “You’re old, and your sons aren’t following your example. Now appoint a king to judge us so that we will be like all the other nations."

1 Samuel 8:5

Samuel was a godly man, and his story is a powerful testimony. His mother, Hannah, struggled with barrenness and prayed earnestly to God for a child. In 1 Samuel 1, she promised the Lord that if He blessed her with a son, she would "give him unto the LORD all the days of his life" (1 Samuel 1:11). From the moment he was conceived, Samuel had a significant calling on his life. Through Hannah's vow and obedience, he walked in his purpose.

Samuel's role served as a bridge between God and the Israelites.² Although he was a powerful leader, he also faced the inevitable passage of time. As he grew old, it became necessary to appoint a successor who could continue to serve as that vital link between God and the people. Samuel appointed his sons as judges over Israel, but unfortunately, they did not follow in his ways (1 Samuel 8:1-3).

This decision stirred frustration and anger among the Israelites, who could clearly see that Samuel's sons were not fit to lead. Instead of recognizing this mistake, they allowed their discontent to expose deeper, ungodly desires within their hearts. The Israelites requested a king, not just out of need, but out of a desire to "be like" other nations. This request stemmed from intentions that were not aligned with God's will.

Our flesh often deceives us into thinking we understand our true needs, but that is not always the case. Lacking self-awareness, we might confuse our fleshy desires for the direction of the Holy Spirit. Like the Israelites, we can fixate on what others are doing and lose sight of God's purpose for our own lives.

This misguided focus led the Israelites to settle for a limited vision. While God desired to provide them with a leader, their request for a king indicated a lack of faith in God's promises. The Bible foretells the rise of kings to lead God’s people, as seen in Genesis 17:6: "I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make you into nations, and kings shall come from you." God's word never returns void (read Isaiah 55:11); when He makes a promise, it will come to pass.

A common mistake we make is to grow impatient and misinterpret human errors as divine failures. The Israelites faced bondage and hardships due to their own disobedience. Often, in times of struggle or desperation, we create idols as security blankets, allowing our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings to be driven by these false gods.

God granted the Israelites their desire for a king, but not without warning them of the consequences they would face. Blinded by their desire to be "like" other nations, they prioritized the safety of their flesh over faith in the Holy Spirit. God's "yes" to the Israelites came with repercussions, yet even in their disobedience, He used that moment to steer their hearts back to Him. Their idol was granted, but they would soon learn through experience that it could not serve them well.

Whispers Between You and God

If God has said "yes" to you in this season, it might feel confusing because His answer doesn’t feel as though it is aligning with your current experience. This could be a moment for growth, as God may be teaching you that your desires are not in harmony with His will for your life. Sometimes, God's "yes" comes with a lesson of "no," all out of love, because He wants you to be ready for what He has in store.

That idol in your life needs to be removed for you to fully align with His purpose. Let us remember that during Saul's rule, God was also preparing David, a man after His own heart, for the throne. God has your spouse in mind. Don't lose hope; keep trusting, and watch how God turns this moment around!

Take a moment today and read Genesis 17: 4-8 and journal:

1. Write out or speak aloud one declaration about how you see God's covenant reflected in your future. Example: “Our love is rooted in promise, not performance.”

2. Identify one mindset or pattern that doesn’t align with God’s vision for marriage and commit to surrendering it today.

3. Memorize a verse from Genesis 17 (or write it somewhere visible) to remind yourself of God’s heart for generational covenant.

References

• Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

• Guzik, David. Commentary on 1 Samuel 8. Enduring Word, https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/1-samuel-8/. Accessed 3 June 2025.

To the one waiting on God....

For more guidance on aligning your heart with God in your season of singleness, my book, Good Morning, Beautiful, is a devotional study that guides you in discovering how Jesus—the true standard of love—meets you, prioritizes you, and shapes your identity right where you are.

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