When Darkness Feels Close
Good morning beautiful,
This time of year can be especially difficult. Between the holiday season, the time change, and the colder weather, it can often bring on seasonal depression. During a time when celebration seems to be at its peak, some find themselves struggling with a lack of motivation, fatigue, withdrawal, and feelings of loneliness.
As someone who has experienced depression, I often describe it as a dark cloud looming over you wherever you go. You can be in a room filled with laughter and still feel distant. You can witness the beautiful changes of the season and still feel cold. Depression is such a contradictory experience. In the same way that you desire love and closeness, depression can make you want to withdraw and hide. You want to feel connected, but find yourself pulling away. You want to experience joy, but struggle to find the motivation to reach for it.
As we enter into this new season, I want to remind you of something very important: God is still there! He doesn't leave our side. What often happens, though, is that the darkness begins to drown out the stillness of His voice, and we mistake His silence for His absence.
Today, I want you to know that God is with you, even when you feel as though you have strayed too far or wonder whether He is willing to meet you in the middle of your darkness. Scripture reminds us that darkness cannot comprehend the light (John 1:5). So believe this: God is not afraid of your darkness; your darkness cannot overcome His light.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
A Moment to Reflect
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4
In Psalm 23, David gives us a very real description of what it means to be in a place where fear, danger, and uncertainty seem to surround us. He calls it the “valley of the shadow of death.” Even in the middle of this darkness, David makes a powerful declaration: “I will fear no evil!”
The Hebrew expression translated as “shadow of death” carries the meaning of deep darkness and can also describe a place of extreme danger.¹ David was describing a place where danger was real, yet he remained confident in God's presence. We all have moments when we feel as though we are walking through a difficult season, where the circumstances surrounding us seem overwhelming and there doesn't appear to be a way out.
I think it is interesting that David refers to the valley as a shadow of death. David Guzik explains that a shadow is not tangible on its own but is cast by something that is.² This gives us an interesting way to understand the imagery. The danger and hardship we experience are real, but we serve a God who defeated death through His death and resurrection. Therefore, I want you to consider replacing the word death with whatever you may be facing today. Whether it is depression, grief, fear, loneliness, or uncertainty, it does not have the final say over those who belong to Him.
The darkness may be present, but it does not have to prevail.
But there is something else I want us to recognize about the valley: we can become so consumed by the darkness that we lose sight of the Shepherd who is walking with us. Depression can make it difficult to recognize God's presence. It can leave us feeling distant, disconnected, and alone, even when we are surrounded by people. Sometimes, the weight of what we are experiencing can become so overwhelming that we struggle to see beyond the darkness in front of us.
This is why I love the reminder Jesus gives us in Matthew 18:12–14. He uses the illustration of a shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine sheep to go and seek the one that has gone astray.
How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
Matthew 18:12
I think this is such a beautiful reminder of God's heart toward us. There may be seasons when we feel lost in the darkness, when depression makes it difficult to feel connected to God or recognize His presence. But our feelings do not change His care for us. We are not forgotten, overlooked, or beyond His reach. God is our Shepherd (Psalm 23:1), and He remains attentive to us even in the moments when we struggle to see Him.
Whispers Between You and God
Pray this with me “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be overtaken by what has already been defeated at the cross. Proverbs 18:10 declares that ‘The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.’ So, God, I speak Your name over fear, depression, anxiety, and loneliness. In this season, I will overcome. I pray that You, the Lord of Armies, my protector, will cover me during this time of darkness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Reflect on your current circumstances. Using your five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell) describe what it feels like to be surrounded by heaviness or darkness. Now, imagine God sitting with you in that very place. What do you notice? How does His presence change what you experience?
Study Resources
Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong’s Hebrew: H6757—Tsalmaveth. https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h6757/kjv/wlc/0-1/
David Guzik, “Psalm 23 – The LORD Is My Shepherd,” Enduring Word Bible Commentary, https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/psalm-23/
Are you ready to take the next step?
You are doing all of the right things, but let’s take it a step further. Healing is the work of allowing God to transform what is happening within you, not just changing what is happening around you. This book invites you to slow down, examine your heart, and embrace the woman God is continuing to shape you into.
Don’t just keep doing the right things, give yourself permission to become whole in the process.
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